Réaul EP Release

My friend's band is finally releasing their debut EP. Check them out at their official website. You can get their music at most of the online music stores like Amazon and iTunes and many others.

Aren't we all doing the same thing?

King of the Hill Church video

Hank in King of the Hill was disillusioned with his church and looking for a new one.

You Are 55% Left Brained, 45% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

Why the "altar-call" has got to go

the internet monk hits home again. his discussion of the "altar-call" is the exactly what i have been feeling is wrong with the church i attend. too many false promises.

Abandoning the “Invisible Lifeline”

you go guy!

sick and tired of being sick and tired

about to give up. don't know how much more of this i can take. everything seems to be setting me off. i can't breathe. using my inhaler constantly. it's been so long since i last felt healthy. i don't remember what it was like. pretty much given up on doctors. everyday i look at all the medications i am taking and wonder if they are really doing anything for me. other than emptying my wallet. people say "we'll pray for your healing" why? it doesn't help. if it did something would have happened a long time ago. god holds no place in my life. you wanna really help? be there when i can't breathe. you don't have to say anything. just be there. let me know that i am not alone. cuz alone and isolated from the world is how i feel. i'm scared to go out for fear of having an attack. i just want this to be over.

worship for the perfect???

an article by sally morgenthaler that touches a live wire in me about the current state of the church and its take on worship. some quotes that caught my eye...

No sad songs. No angry songs. Songs about desperation, but none about despair. Worship for the perfect. The already arrived. The good-looking, inoffensive, and nice. No wonder the unchurched aren't interested.


the primary meeting place with our unchurched friends is now outside the church building. Worship must finally become, as Paul reminds us, more life than event (Romans 12:1-2).

Can Those with an Invisible Illness Park in the Blue Spots without Others Seeing Red?

Reposted with permission from www.invisibleillness.com

"Do you know the fine for using someone else's handicapped parking permit is $300?" "That parking spot is saved for the disabled! You should be ashamed of yourself!" Nearly everyone with an invisible illness has been told, "You don't look disabled to me!" One of my friends replied, "Well, you don't look stupid to me." I just bite my lip to try to prevent the tears from forming, broken-hearted that I appear to be deceptive, when I would do anything to give back this parking perk that I use on a rare occasion.

As I circle the parking lot a fourth time on this day I hope for a spot to open up within two-hundred yards of the store, but there is nothing remotely close at this bustling superstore where I need to buy my prescriptions and milk for my toddler. My rheumatoid arthritis is flaring badly, causing extra fluid in my knees to dislocate pieces of loose bones. Every step is painful and unpredictable.

Finally I sigh in resignation and pull into the farthest "blue parking spot." I reach for the placard--the one that has a bold white symbol of a wheelchair--and no, I don't have a wheelchair--yet. So after fifteen years of having this "privilege" at my disposal I still warily scan the area before reluctantly dangling the placard from the rear view mirror. Is there anyone watching, wondering, or waiting, ready to confront me?

I've had scathing notes left on my windshield and many people, empowered by television exposés, have approached me with their opinions. Judgmental expressions and whispers sting just as much. My husband and I adopted a baby and when I would get my child of the car I would avoid eye contact with onlookers because I could hear their whispers of, "She's not disabled! Or--if she is--she has no right to have a child!"

Nearly 1 in 2 Americans (133 million) live with a chronic illness. It could be diabetes, cancer, cystic fibrosis, fibromyalgia or even chronic back pain. Many illnesses make walking long distances impossible because of limited lung capacity, physical pain, or unpredictable numbness in the legs. According to statistics provided by the U.S. Census Bureau, about 96% of these illnesses are invisible. There is no sign of the illness existing, nor the use of an assistive device like a cane or a wheelchair.

I began National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week in 2002, which is held this year Sept 10-16, 2007, after witnessing thousands of people who had frustrations, fears, loneliness, and bitterness, about feeling invalidated. One's illness, age, diagnosis, or level of disease degeneration, doesn't change the emotional pain.

Strangers and loved ones alike doubt the severity of our illness or even the diagnosis. We've heard, "You look so good! You must be feeling better." But we don't feel better. We just bought some fake tan in a bottle and pasted on a smile.

National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week is a time to acknowledge that invisible illness is more prevalent than we'd imagine and everyone--both those who are healthy and ill--can make a difference by encouraging someone with an invisible illness, rather than tearing someone down.

Are those parking spots painted blue because they give so many people the blues? That small area of square footage is a breeding ground for many frustrations as we are forced to defend our illness and character to total strangers. I'd gladly trade in my placard indefinitely for just a week of having my old body back when I could run, sit on the floor, or even hold a fork without tendons popping out of place.

I anticipate the day when a nationally designated system is formed. Texas law states that blue placards are for those who use assistive devices; red permits are for people with a "condition that impairs mobility." In other states, red symbolizes six months of disability and blue is permanent. It's confusing! And for one with invisible illness, the wheelchair symbol discredits both our physical pain and--in the eyes of others--our reputation. Until then, we rely on Invisible Illness Week bumper stickers.

The next time you see a healthy looking man loading groceries into his car--parked in the "blue spot"--don't glare. Stop and offer to help him, or just smile nicely, giving him the benefit of the doubt. Seventy percent of suicides have uncontrollable physical pain as a factor. Your smile may save his life. At the least, it will astonish him, perhaps providing him with genuine encouragement he hasn't felt for months.

Lisa Copen is the founder of National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week, www.invisibleillness.com, and author of "Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend." She is the founder of Rest Ministries which has served the chronically ill with spiritual support for ten years.

Sometimes we need proof that we are not alone in what we face.

Discontent 2

Been having a really hard time relating with the people at church. Supposedly God has been moving and everybody's been feeling his presence. Not me. So I've been pretty much avoiding everybody. Couldn't find the words that expressed how I'm feeling but the Internet Monk has got it nailed.

i miss you - internet monk

Peace be with you

peaceful moment

Update: His name is Percy.

Newest addition to the family. Yet to be named.

My Stores

My first and best selling store.

My second store.

My newest store.

And some of my other stores.

Quotes and Snippets

- … loneliness in my own life doesn’t mean I am a complete screw-up, rather God made me this way.
    ~ Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What

- It made me wonder, honestly, if such complex existence as the one you are living can really be broken down into a few steps.
    ~ Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What

- Reality is like a fine wine.  It will not appeal to children.
    ~ Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What

- The times in my life when I have been the most happy haven’t been the times when I’ve had the most money or the most freedom or the most anything, but rather when I’ve been in love or in community or right with people.
    ~ Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What

- And poetry is a literary tool that has the power to give a person the feeling that he isn’t alone in those emotions, that, though there are no words to describe them, somebody understands.
    ~ Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What

- … ideas have to sink very deeply into a person’s soul, into their being, before the can effect change…
    ~ Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What

- It is a rare person who loses himself in the presence of other human beings.
    ~ Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What

- Jesus built our faith system entirely on relationships.
    ~ Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What

- It is a powerful occurrence to have somebody look you in the eye and say you are worth something.
    ~ Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What

- The greatest desire of man is to be known and loved anyway.
    ~ Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What

- “we understand each other,” another went on to say.  “We have a community, a group of people who, because of their own deformities, accept the deformity in others.  We are the lucky ones, because we understand that people are only people, that thing you think makes you better that us is an illusion.”
     ~ Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What

- Love creates rules, and forgives when they are broken.
     ~ Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What

- When I think of myself as a sheep, looking up at Jesus, who has a staff to rescue me and a rod to comfort me, it makes me feel that this passage (Ps. 23) is quite endearing, that basically I am a simple sheep, having very little idea of what is right and wrong, and Jesus is going to pull me out of the ditches when I screw up, and protect me from spiritual enemies who, roam about like lions.
    ~ Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What

- The tough thing about Christian Spirituality is, you have to mean things. You can’t just go through the motions or act religious for the wrongs reasons.
    ~ Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What
 
- Let’s say you had a friend like Omar who was wondering, and you no longer believed the gospel could be presented accurately using a step-by-step guide with all the beauty of blender instructions, what would you say?
    ~ Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What

- Everybody, every person, has to leave, has to change like seasons; they have to or they die.
     ~ Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts

- Everybody has to change, or they expire.
    ~ Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts

- Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons.
    ~ Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts

- We are shaped by our experiences.  Our perception of joy, fear, pain, and beauty are sharpened or dulled by the way we rub against time.
    ~ Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts

- I told her of the need to travel, to gain memories, and to be, for a while, completely free.
    ~ Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts

- I think joy into its coffin; I analyze too much.  I don’t want to think about life anymore; I just want to live life.
    ~ Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts

- Trouble leads to question and question leads to prayer.  It’s funny how I usually don’t care about faith until life falls apart, until I find myself in the middle of some kind of jam.
    ~ Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts

- When with certain people, one is confronted with the notion that life may be much easier than the rest of us believe it is, that most of the things we worry about are not worth worrying about.
    ~ Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts

- People assume when you’re swimming in a river you are supposed to know which way you are going, and I guess some of the time that is true, but there are certain currents that are very strong, and it’s when we are in those currents we need somebody to come along, pull us out, and guide us in a safer direction.
    ~ Donald Miller, To Own a Dragon

- I was kind of amazed at how much of my time I had spent wandering around, not really knowing what I was doing or where I was going, only wanting random things in a random universe.  I don’t know how many months, how many years I spent sitting and watching television, complaining to myself about how boring life was.
    ~ Donald Miller, To Own a Dragon

Letter to a Church-Weary and God-Leery Friend

Very much my experience as well.
------------------------------------------
This is my experience. This I know to be true:

Deep in our hearts, buried in the core of our internal being, we have a space for the Divine that can only be filled by God. Many theologians and philosophers, artists and writers have said this
before me. I know it to be true from my own journey into the spiritual experience. I hear people talk about it almost daily.

After a lifetime of church-based instruction about God there came a point (when I was ready and not before) when above all else I desired something larger than the teachings about God that I had generously been given by my fellow man; I longed for something greater than someone else's testimony of God. I was tired of knowing things about God but not knowing God. I made a decision to move beyond the beatitudes and platitudes that I had been hand-fed my entire life. I did not need any more answers. I needed God.

So I left the church in search of God. Armed with nothing but a bitter taste in my mouth of what I did not want and a wisp of faith that God was capable of revealing God's true Self to me through whatever means necessary, I launched out on my journey. This was my dark night of the soul; this was my mustard seed genesis that has grown into a tree-sized system of belief and action that governs my every move and decision.

There are many among us, and I was one, who have heads full of the knowledge of what the scriptures say about God, but who have very little sense of what it is to lead a God-surrendered or Spirit-filled life. I was taught much of what I knew about God by people who were quite possibly agnostics; at least they seemed unsure of what they believed when you got them down out of the pulpit where you could touch them, look them in the eye, and ask them questions. I find this to be true today of some of the loudest and most confident-appearing preachers. They seem to be preaching in order to convince themselves to believe. I don't have a problem with this but I do think it's ridiculous to let only one doubter, the one getting paid to be there, do all the talking in church.

Doubts are part of what makes faith authentic. "I believe, now help me with what I don't believe." (Mark 9:24 paraphrased) People who have biblical answers for every situation make me nervous. I prefer to hang out with spiritual seekers who are not uncomfortable with questions and who can laugh at the oldest of the sacred cows. Sacrilegious humor in my opinion is the most soul-cleansing.

Do not worry about the language you use when you seek God. God can handle it. Do not feel as if you must envision the person, the man, or the mystery of Christ for him to become real to you. Instead, let the eyes of your spirit look up to see God in the everyday wonder of life and contemplate whatever goodness you experience. God will meet you there and bring you to the highest forms of truth in God's good time. For the time being, anything that brings you a sense of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control is the Spirit of the Almighty growing new life inside of you. Embrace these with your heart and soul and let your mind fend for itself. God has no difficulty in revealing who God is to those who earnestly seek God.

Let your fears fall from you, especially those that grip your heart and lead you to hold on to temporal and material things. Focus on love and fear will flee. God is love. Fear is self. Spirituality explores the freedoms of God; religion attempts to contain God and control what people think and believe about God. Religion costs money. God, however, is free. Though it may work for you, you don't have to practice a religion to experience God, especially if it has been a source of bondage for you. And while you may have to work through feelings of guilt and shame because of your decision to leave it behind it is not all that difficult to do. As Paul Simon sang back in the 70s,

"...just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free."

This is my experience. This I know to be true.

Blessings on your journey with God,
Dan Gilliam
http://dangilliam.net/

Geek Statements

- You know you're an engineer if you have no life & can prove it mathematically.
- When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
- We have enough youth. How about a fountain of SMART?
- Time flies when you are sick and psychotic.
- The universe is a figment of its own imagination.
- The ozone layer or cheese in a spray can. Don’t make me choose.
- The box said "Requires Windows 95 or better." So I installed LINUX.
- The beatings will continue until morale improves.
- Quiet - Alpha Geek at work.
- Press any key... no, no, no, not that one!!!
- Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive (the damn thing blew up)
- NEVER, NEVER question the GEEKS.
- NEVER, BUT NEVER question the ENGINEERS judgment.
- Make it idiot-proof, and someone will make a better idiot.
- If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
- I PROCESS, therefore I am.
- I don’t know what your problem is, but I'll bet its hard to pronounce.
- I can’t be fired, slaves are sold.
- Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
- ERROR: Keyboard not attached. Press F-1 to continue.
- Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
- Department of Redundancy Department.
- Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bullshit before.
- Dain bramaged
- Chaos! Panic! Disaster! (My work here is done)
- C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
- Blessed are the Geeks, for they shall internet the earth.
- Alcohol & calculus don't mix. Never drink & derive.
- 90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.

Walls...

Walls... they’re everywhere.  They define us, limit us.  We can try to go around them, or break through them, or give up and let them close us in.  But every once in a while, if we’re lucky, someone opens a door, and then it’s up to us to have the courage to walk thru.
~Harry Dresden (The Dresden Files)

Photos

Some pictures I've taken in Chicago and for Réaul that are up on my Flickr account.

GryphonPhoto

Quit and See What Happens

Take a break from “church.” We all need to.

quit-and-see-what-happens