Help me earn money to go to a conference.

Please buy my stuff so I can go to an arts conference at Willow Creek in June 2006.
http://www.cafepress.com/bluedogart

Thankful Quote

"Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to."
-Alfred A. Montapert

Thought on thanks

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the
highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by
them. -John Fitzgerald Kennedy

I wanna be a slacker

Being responsible sucks. Slackers have free time and are never asked to do anything extra, because no one expects anything from them. If you are responsible people always ask you to do more and more. And you never get anything out of it. Okay you do get one thing, more stress. Is it worth the work? I don’t want to be responsible anymore.

What's the point?

“What’s The Point?”
What’s the point of wishing?
When wishes never come true
What’s the point of striving?
When I’ll never make it through
What’s the point of dreaming?
When all of my dreams fail
What’s the point of searching?
When I’ll never find the trail
What’s the point of living?
When everyone wants me to leave
What’s the point of hoping?
When I have no reasons to believe
What’s the point of pretending?
When all I can do is cry
What’s the point of breathing?
When I just want to die
What’s the point of living?
When no one wants me hear
What’s the point of smiling?
When you can still see my tears
What’s the point of me?
When memories fade away
What’s the point of staying?
When I can’t take another day
What’s the point of this race?
When I’ll never see the end
What’s the point of praying?
When you’ll never be my friend
    ~by depressedsoul
(found at http://www.4degreez.com/poetry/16065/1083431562.html )

What do I believe?

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I believe.  Someone recently asked the question, how many people have I led to Christ.  I can honestly say none.  Is that wrong?  It’s never been an issue for me and yet now I have to answer for what others see as my seemingly wasted life.  Personally I think that it is a religious thing.  My background is Lutheran but I currently attend a Pentecostal church where this has recently become an issue.  I am not comfortable with this.  What I believe is that we can’t save ourselves, therefore we can’t lead anyone to Christ.  Sure you can share the gospel and inform people of what God did for us.  But the act of “Saving” is strictly one that only God alone can do.  All we can do is accept His gift and in return love and follow Him.  

I’ve also been thinking a lot about my role in the church.  And why do we even have church?  It seems like it’s just a big exclusive club.  Worst of all, I wouldn’t want to bring any of my friends (not that I have any) to the church I currently attend*.  There isn’t anything to be a part of other than the inner workings of the church.  We have no outreach, to anyone.  We just think we do.  I’m thinking about leaving.  But that won’t happen as they’ll never let me go peacefully.

I’m tired and depressed, so good night dark world.

(*I don’t mean to offend anyone who is part of the church I attend.  So if you happen to know me, and my church, and are reading this, please understand that I am just being honest about what I feel.)